


Worst Friend Ever

by luvscharlie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: hp_humpdrabbles, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 03:50:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1414033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvscharlie/pseuds/luvscharlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavender Brown is, in fact, the worst friend ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worst Friend Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the prompt of "Parvati Patil" at [](http://hp-humpdrabbles.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://hp-humpdrabbles.livejournal.com/)**hp_humpdrabbles**

**Title:** Worst Friend Ever  
 **Author:** [](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/profile)[**luvscharlie**](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/)  
 **Fandom:** Harry Potter  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Pairings:** Percy Weasley/Parvati Patil; Seamus Finnigan/Lavender Brown  
 **Word Count:** 500  
 **Prompt:** Parvati Patil  
 **Author's Notes:** Originally written for the prompt of "Parvati Patil" at [](http://hp-humpdrabbles.livejournal.com/profile)[**hp_humpdrabbles**](http://hp-humpdrabbles.livejournal.com/)

AND [ 12\. Between the Sheets](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/150788.html) on [](http://15pairings.livejournal.com/profile)[**15pairings**](http://15pairings.livejournal.com/) and [ 57\. Phone (Floo) Encounter ](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/10859.html) on [](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/profile)[**smut_69**](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/)

 

Parvati, clad only in knickers, as she couldn't find any of her other clothes, grabbed some floo powder from the mantel and tossed it into the fireplace. She stuck her still pounding head in and despite the raging in her ears and the nausea building, she shouted Lavender's name as loud as she could.

Her friend came from the bedroom. "Shhhh!!!! You'll wake Seamus!"

"You are the worst friend ever. How could you let me leave with him?"

Lavender sniggered. "Percy was a disappointment then? How bad was it?"

"I'll tell you how bad it was. It was perfectly amazing."

"Boy, talk about hard to please. You floo call me in the middle of the night to complain about perfectly amazing sex. Yeah, sorry if I'm not that sympathetic. My date is passed out after puking on my duvet -- and ask me if he could get it up."

"Percy is my boss. I just fucked my boss. Please tell me how that is ever going to work out?"

"I should have left with Percy myself. Always. I always pick the wrong one. Well don't hold back. Tell me everything."

"I can't do that. He's my boss! And did you know he has a lion tattooed on his bum?"

"No. He. Does. Not." Lavender squealed in anticipation.

"God, why did I tell you that? I should never drunk call you. I always say too much."

"Forget the drunk call. Get the fuck out of my fireplace so I can come see this."

"I don't think you should--" But before she could finish, Lavender was standing in the middle of Percy Weasley's flat, looking her up and down.

"You look a fright. It's a wonder he fucked you at all. There will be no morning sex if you don't pull yourself together. Good thing I got here when I did." Lavender pulled a lipstick and mascara from her dressing gown pocket and shoved them at her friend. "A lady is always prepared. Now point me toward Percy Weasley's bum. I gotta see this lion."

"I'm really not sure you should. What if he wakes up?"

Lavender raised an eyebrow. "As long as he doesn't vomit on me, it'll be the most action I've had all night. Remind me next time Seamus starts talking to close my ears, yeah?" She tiptoed towards Percy's room. "Rats, he's under the covers. I'll just sneak over there and pull it down a bit."

"Oh, Lavender, no."

Too late, Lavender was already pulling back the covers, when Percy, apparently a light sleeper, cocked open an eye. "Hi there."

Lavender stifled a giggle. "I'm um--- well, Parvati said your bum isn't well shaped, so I'm here to form my own conclusions. I believe in giving a man the benefit of the doubt." Lavender gave Parvati a chastising click of the tongue. " _This_ is a perfectly passable bum, Parv. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Parvati groaned and covered her face. "Really. Worst. Friend. Ever."


End file.
